he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
