Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
