so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
