so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
