I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
