Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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