is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
