i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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