So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
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Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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