You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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