So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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