So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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