Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
