I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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