why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
