just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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