Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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