Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
