i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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