maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
