before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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