I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
