dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drake has all the answers
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
