I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this boner is exhausting
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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