I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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