I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
