Cold hands, warm shart.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
