The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
