I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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