he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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