im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
