I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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