this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
