I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize