so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
