Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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