So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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