You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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