there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
