okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
