Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
