I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
