I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
