I feel great
I just peed on a car
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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