You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont even know how to be here
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize