So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
