obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
