she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize