oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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