um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize