We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
