Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Randomize
