sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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