Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
