forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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