i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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