How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
