just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize