Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
