Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
