so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
