Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
