She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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