and you said cock pushups were impossible
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
