i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
