On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize