even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
