ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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