You made me cry and you don't even care
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
