Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
