So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
